Open door between two paths

Locked in this snowball, alone in this world cold and fake. Unreal snow was colder than real. It was sharper than broken glass.
Kaija touched oak’s leaves and found that they were frozen. Dead and pale.
Silently she looked at her palm. Grey burnt ashes covered her fingers.

— It’s all dead here. Everything. — whispered she giving him a surprised glance. — Isn’t it, Teller? What the hell this place is…
— I haven’t been here before. But if you meet/see/feel ghosts or whatever just call me, okay? You’re too… — he paused and looked at her. She stood still and tears were slowly running down. Like a little child she cried and looked at him. — Come here. Everything will be okay, dear.

He embraced her and felt that she was trembling. She wasn’t cold, but so much afraid. She took his hand with her tender fingers and looked deep in his eyes. Teller saw fear in her eyes, but he also saw a tiny shadow of hope and faith. He caught a sight of a dreamy kid and a sight of a wise woman. Her eyes kept him in that deep ocean bound. His soul was surfing in the waves of endless sea, entire ocean of feelings and emotions living in two sparkling mirrors of life.

‘My feet are cold. This cold glass is like ice covering the lake. I don’t want to stay here…’ — thought she looking at her bare feet and white glass ground. Dark unreal sky got even darker, at least it seemed so to them.

Northern wind blew catching dead leaves from the trees and snow from the roofs. Night fell down and buried the town in ghost darkness.

Her long hair fell on her face and closed her eyes. She was sleeping and didn’t notice anything. Teller sat on cold ground and looked at the sky. Her head lied on his shoulder and he felt her breath on his skin. He slowly looked down at her. Innocent and pure child of light.
‘Why are you following me? I’m not that you need. But you’re that I want… This is all wrong. Kaija… find another way. But still, it’s too late now. Why didn’t you listen to me?’

— Because I don’t want another life. My heart won’t beat without your kind word and warm sight. Don’t try to fix me while I’m not broken. Don’t try to let me go when I am not going anywhere.

She spoke to him through her sleep. Kaija learnt to hear his thoughts through the distance and time. It was under her own control. And he forgot about this… But she was there, lying in his arms soft and warm. Sweet and tender scent of first flowers in spring played in her hair and he felt it. Teller bent to her and gently kissed her lips.

She is lying in her bed. Heart beats silently. Breath is slow. Kaija is sleeping. She is so far away…

‘I walk this snow. I know this forest, I’ve been there once… The oak, the lake..
Teller… let me know if you’re here… Teller. Don’t be silent, I know you hear me.’

He is standing right before her looking at her. He touches her hair and strokes her shoulder.
She is no longer afraid. She smiles and embraces him kindly. Teller…

“Dear Teller,

let me know if you are here. I need to talk to you.”

She closed her diary. ‘No more writing for today. I’m tired…’
Snowball on her table glows in moonlight. Snow lies still covering fake ground under a fake Christmas tree.
Kaija checked her mail box and sighed. She feels that tears are slowly falling down on her pillow. Cold and bitter they’re running down her cheeks.

She looked through the window and saw pale dark sky covered with clouds. Sometimes you can see tiny stars shining with their shy smiles or sparkling with their silver tears.
‘2 am… I have to get some sleep.Even we should sleep sometimes. But it never helps with deep heart pain.’
Kaija closed her eyes and thought of him.

“More than everything in this world I wish now… you were here.”

Dreamland of this night is white. Snow lies all around. It covered the roofs, the trees, the field behind her house… Everything is bright white only the sky is dark. Dark and unreal… like in her snowball. Everything looks so unreal.

‘No stars, but sky is clear. That’s interesting…’ — thought she looking at the sky.

 — It’s glass. You’re in the snowball. — said the voice behind her. Teller appears from the shadow of an old oak. — Don’t run away. Don’t try to. You’re locked here. Like I am.

Snow sparkles in first rays of dawning sun. Early morn fell on the field and embraced it with frozen beauty.
It was a cold night. Leaves and unfallen petals are deadly pale in this November sun.
Silent. Peaceful. Imagined scenery of silver mist landscape.

Ice covered the lake waters and now it looks like a huge mirror. Still this iceglass is too thin to walk it.
Cold ghostly waters will take you before you can make a sound.
Silent morn. Beautiful frozen dawn.

— Kaija, where are you? Come here! Snow!
— I don’t to play now, Teller.

He entered her room. She is sitting and writing in her diary. Something very important if it’s more interesting than to play snowballs. Or run across the field with the wind blowing in your face…

— What are you doing? — asked he looking at her.
— Writing a story… about you and me. One day you’ll read it. But if you read it that will mean the only thing — I’m not here anymore. You see?

She closed her diary and came closer to him. Looking deep in his eyes she stroked his hair.

— I’m not sure that.. you mean… no. No way.
— Yes. Let me finish it and you’ll know the end of this story.

She opened again her diary and wrote this:

“… Teller. This is a message for you. I don’t know if I’m still here. If you’re reading this… that means that I’m.. far far away. Don’t drop a tear for me, keep a kind smile on your face. Let me be a part of your childish memory. I’m only a shadow of the fullmoon, I’m a tide, a snowflake on your palm. I’m but your fantasy, your untouched memory. Never dreamt dream. You were my guiding star, my light in the dark. Now the darkness is over me. Please, take care of your dearest memories. Keep the waiting and we will meet once again.
Just keep on believing and one day I’ll knock at your door on dawn. Keep the heart open and full of hope.

Forever yours,
Kaija”

… Hope is beating in her heart. Hope is her heart. She lives and breathes it. Take it from her and she will die. Not at once, but slowly, painfully. In cruel suffering. Alone and cold.

‘Why am I doing this? Why am I writing this all?’ — thought she looking through the leaves above her head.
Pale yellow leaves are dancing in a wind blow. Light grey clouds running through the sky let sun shine not so bright as always. Music box stopped playing, but then the violin was calling her again and again. Beautiful symphony in her heart combined with dreambound around her.
Silent whisper of leaves, soft wind, kind touch of sunshine… dreamy November day.
Kaija walks down the street and breathes in frozen air. Heart’s melody has been following her for the whole day.
Last days she has different and strange dreams. Nightmares walking deep in her soul, calling her name and haunting her every night… and every day.

‘… Time will flow with one moment of pain
Take your path, kneel before the stream
Follow your heart to touch your dream
Deep within I go back to my memories again..’

“Close the door… none should see you. You’re the terrible beast whoever lived in this world. I wish I could never walk again from here.”

Kaija was crying on her bed. For hours she was silently weeping. She didn’t want to see anyone. Her hatred seemed endless. She hated herself for so many things…

Tears sparkled in her closed eyes then. She didn’t want to feel it again. She never wished to pass through it once more. One time was more than enough.
But memories awakened while she flew. Her darkest memories came back and fear rose from the ashes like Phoenix. Darkness embraced her tight and she couldn’t breathe. She was falling down with a beaten breath. Suddenly she opened her eyes and saw him right before her. Her sight was so blur but slowly she could see tears in his eyes.

— I’m here. Don’t die… please, don’t die. — whispered he to her. He was holding her hand.

She understood that they were in the forest near the lake.

— I promised you.. that I’ll always be around. In the dark or in the sparkle of light… I’ll always be behind you. So, dear, I’ll always guard you. — said he.
— I’m alright, I guess.. — told she. — I thought that I’m living in a dreamworld. And can fly. You showed me that Violet Forest and the old house… It was a dream, wasn’t it?

He looked at her. His glance went through her eyes and reached her soul. It looked like he was reading her heart, her every dream and memory.
Finally he just looked in her eyes.

— You remember it all… It’s true. It all was real. Now you should get some sleep.
He took her back home. She slowly fell asleep in his arms embracing him softly.

On the other side of the river
In pale smile of dawn
I’ll sit waiting forever
For another dream dawn

In cold dew, in silver moonlight
I will walk with memories in heart
In dreams and awake
I will wait near the lake

Under old oak in ghostly moonshade
I’ll bear all for what I once prayed
In the horizon, in the end of a dying day
I’ll keep a hope, deep believing so far away

In the end of the river
In a silent pale dawn
I’ll dream forever
For this beautiful morn

In the end of the day before a kiss of the night
In the dying sundown
I’ll keep this moment deep in my heart
Because this moment is now

Await me in the end of the rainbow
Call me with a snowflake on dawn
In the horizon I’m waiting for you
In that cold morning blue

Grass in dew, frozen blue
Sky above the pale lake
Silent flight of a snowflake
Last ride of the day, endless journey
Touch of you, kiss of truth

Await me in the end of the day
Sing me a lullaby
Don’t leave me alone so far away
Remember a dreamy-eyed child
Who lost her own way

Flow with the river deep and cold
Follow dreamheart’s road
Through the grey dead world

Await me in the end of the rainbow
Awake me with a kiss of dawn
In the horizon I’m waiting for you
In that cold northern dew

While melody is flowing
I’m slowly falling
While music box is playing
I’m silently hiding
Deep in cold November night

No, no, don’t let me go
Oh no, never let me fall
Lust of the world
Dreams untold
Let me hear your call

No, no, don’t let me go
Not this morn
Not on dawn
Never let me go

For the beauty unseen
For the kiss of belief
For the one silent step
For the world without an end
For this magic Wonderland

Don’t let me fall
No, no, don’t go
Never leave me in cold
’cause there could be no dawn
For my every world

No, no, don’t let me go
Oh no, never let me fall
Lust of the world
Dreams untold
Let me hear your call

While music box in the dark
Is silently playing
While heart deep inside
Is secretly praying
There will always be a light of hope
For a sweet kiss of love

Untouched, unloved